Kettlebells from Hell

I said I wouldn’t mention the weight plateau for a while but I need to make a reference to it for just a second.

I have decided to change some stuff up in my exercise routine to see if I can break through the weight plateau.  I am switching up my workout shtick and pushing myself in ways I haven’t really pushed myself yet.  It sort of started last week when I ran the Cooper River Bridge for the first time across and back. I have decided to do that AT LEAST once a week for the foreseeable future. That puts me running outside at a greater intensity and longer distance than I have been for the past several months. I will continue to do at least two days a week of low-intensity cadio to try and stay within the “fat-burning” zone (you can read more about why in that little linky right there.)

Here is where shiz gets real.

One of the trainers at my gym started a Crossfit kettlebell class last week. I really didn’t know anything about kettlebells. For some reason when I hear the term I sort of get this picture in my head of a cow eating popcorn. It might take you a second…ah, there it is. Cow-bell-kettle-corn. I mean I know WHAT they are, but I don’t know how to use them or why they are better or not better or indifferent to using free weights. All I really know is that they are a ball of heavy on the end of a handle.

Well today I learned what that little evil handle-ball is all about.

I got to the gym a little bit early so I ran on the manual treadmill for about 10-15 minutes. Then I saw everyone lining up.  The class started with a warm up that JUST about did me in right by itself. 25 body weight squats. 25 push-ups. 25 crunches. 25 of those planks things where you pull your knee up and out to the side.  25 mountain climbers (I think.) My physical fatigue is seeping into my mental capacities now.  Then we did a round of 25 each of kettlebell swings, deadlifts into the thing where you pull it up under your chin, clean and press (maybe…if these names aren’t right I apologize…), standing one arm overhead presses, lying down one arm presses, and then this thing where you press the bell up with one arm and then, while keeping your eye on the bell, roll over to your side and then pull your leg over (once again, as a nOOb, I have no idea what it is called.) I was all but spent by the time that was done. Then I was informed that the WOD was next.

Um, excuse me. The what?

Oh, nothing. Just that thing where you do 100 body weight squats, 100 kb overhead presses, 100 crunches, 100 deadlifts, and 100 reverse crunches. And you do it for time.

Oh, that’s all?

Death.

I got all the way to the reverse crunches before I had to give up. My legs were cramping so badly that I could even lift them off the ground from a lying position. Several people told me at the end that we got off lucky because that was fairly easy compared to the other classes.

It is now 8 hours later and I feel like I have been hit by a mack truck…full of lead…and baseball bats.

I can’t wait to do it again.

2 comments to Kettlebells from Hell

  • Deb
    Twitter: debslosingit

    I admit I was thinking about getting a kettlebell. Was. Then I saw one of the trainers at the gym doing a workout with one and I about died just watching him. He was in pretty good shape, but you could tell it was kicking his ass just the same.

    Great job getting in there and getting through it Hank!

  • Jan

    Impressed. Kettleballs intimidate me.

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