Stuff Fat People Do: Pillow Lap Dance

My next installment of Stuff Fat People do will probably ring true with a lot of folks.  It is something that happens and we don’t even realize we are doing it most of the time because it has become such a habit.

I am speaking specifically about the Pillow Lap Dance, also known as the Spare Tire Cover.

Whenever I sit down on the couch, or in the pew, or wherever it is I rest this sack o’ me, I always seem to grab the closest pillow (or whatever there might be including small children, pets, bags of trash, whatever…) and hug it to cover my belly.  I never even really realized I was doing it until someone pointed it out to my wife and she asked me why I did it.

I came up with some brilliant excuse about how I was really just projecting my frustration with the world into a forceful hugging action on the inanimate (sometimes animate) object that released endorphins and dopamine to help me deal with mental stress and anguish.  She called my BS.

I really don’ t know how it started, but I have since learned that I am not the only person who does it, by far.  It is some sort of ingrained habitual action by those of us with protruding frontal fattiness.  It is a subliminal gesture that makes us feel as though we are hiding our shame.  Really though it just draws more attention to it.

I know that I will probably still do it even once I have lost a lot of weight, but at least then it won’t be because I am hiding.

2 comments to Stuff Fat People Do: Pillow Lap Dance

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