Challenges: Secret Society of the Apron

I am a member of a secret society that wears an apron.

Don’t worry (for those that would). I am not speaking about a certain secret brotherhood of ancient orders of bricklayers with special handshakes and ceremonial bashing with mallets who hid their secrets in the street design in Washington and our money and such sort.  I am not a member of that brotherhood. I am talking about another secret society.  One that involves being fat.

You may have seen me mention it in a previous post or on Twitter about a certain problem that fat guys deal with. Well I guess that larger ladies deal with it too but I never really thought about it before.

Some refer to this issue as Dunlap disease. You know, where your belly dunlap your belt.  Some call it DikieDo. I won’t explain that one.

I call it The Apron.

The Apron is when your belly fat is pronounced enough to hang down the front of you like, well, like an apron.  It is pretty gross just talking about it, but in the spirit of full disclosure and honesty we must address it.  Sorry if you are squeamish. I am squeamish about it.  It is most certainly the exclusive reason that I am not posting pictures with my shirt off.

In most cases people don’t really know that I deal with this.  That is why I refer to the “secret” part.  I do whatever I can to hide it.  I wear my pants above my waist instead of on my hips and because of that I probably wear 2 sizes too big.  I try to find longer shirts to help cover it up.  I adjust my clothes whenever I sit down so that it isn’t obvious.

I am guessing that I am not the only one who has this problem.  I actually heard a guy in a men’s clothing store, speaking to the sales guy, refer to having problems with it and needing better pants to help hide it. I figure that us guys who do have the Apron are all a part of this secret society even though we don’t know each other.

Maybe we should get a temple and start having closed doors ceremonies. No? Ok, nevermind.

Well now that I have lost close to 30 pounds I must admit that it is not getting better.  It is actually getting worse. I have noticed that my stomach has actually gotten closer to my knees!  Ouch. Yuck. Sorry.  Please do not dwell on any mental pictures from that one.  I know other people who have lost a lot of weight and are dealing with the loose skin issues.  I know that this will continue to get weirder and worse.  I guess it is just something I am going to have to deal with.  A good problem? Isn’t that what they call it?

Well I wanted to share about this challenge that will continue to become more and more challenging.  But I also wanted to challenge you.

What challenges in your life are hanging in front of you? What can you do to cut the Apron strings? I challenge you to drop what ever it is in front of you that is holding you back. The freedom feels good.

3 comments to Challenges: Secret Society of the Apron

  • Mary
    Twitter: oh_mg

    I have the same issue. I always wore bigger shirts and pants than necessary to try and hide my “fat flap.” It got a little worse, but then got a lot better – it’s still loose, but not nearly as bad as I once thought it might have been. I drink tons of water (at least 96 oz. a day) which helps with the skin itself, and I’m trying to do more ab workouts to tighten it as much as I can. It sucks a little, but like you said – good problem to have.

  • Bootzey

    This is hilarious! Women have girdles to camouflage areas we don’t like. My 2nd fiance was a man who was larger (that’s how I likes ’em) and he refused to fasten his pants underneath his stomach. He would say, “What, is this going to hide anything? Everyone already knows I’m big.” And that has always made me wonder why doesn’t every one see it like this.

  • Michelle

    I have lost 100 lb’s still have about 50 to go, though I do have an “issue” in the lower belly area it is really not too bad, all things considered….. My recommendation is a supplement called MSM it is really good for the hair skin and nails, supposed to help with the elasticity in your skin, you can find in if pill form or if you are familiar with a product called emergen-C there is one that comes with a 1,000 mg of MSM in it, you just mix it into your water and there ya go!

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