Where Are My Car Napkins?

I had a realization yesterday. It should make for an interesting post.

I was tooling down ole highway 17 yesterday when I felt like I might have a bat in the cave. You know. A cliffhanger? Snail in the shell?

Ok. A boogie.

So now that that is over I can continue. I reached to the glove box (glove compartment for you snobby type) to grab a napkin, since I had left all of my delicate tissues somewhere else. Well low and behold, there were no napkins to be held. Where the H-E-double-hockey sticks are my napkins!

And then it hit me like a ton of feathers (which weigh the same as a ton of bricks, but just don’t seem to hurt as bad) what was going on.

As a fat person with no regard for for nutrition or health, I always had a steady supply of napkins in my glove box. That’s because I hit a drive through AT LEAST once a week. But more realistically, two, three, maybe four times a week.  And guess what always comes with your nacho bell grande or your chicken minis or your (my) country ham biscuit and sausage gravy biscuits?

That’s right. Napkins.

Usually you receive more napkins than you can use, so the surplus finds its way to the glove box for future use (like when you have a booger).  So the realization this week was that as a fat-man I always had napkins in the car. But as a not-AS-fat-man who has recently become a healthy eater, I have not visited the drive-throughs (or is it drives-through) and therefore have no napkins with which to clean my nose cave.

Wow. Epiphanies are sometimes ground breaking. And also sometimes they have nasal repercussions.

Well now I am going to either have to go through a drive-through this week or find some other form of free nose wipers. I am getting a cold and I can’t wipe my nose on my seatbelt EVERY TIME now can I?

Have you had any funny revelations this week? I would love to hear about them.

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