Week 64 – Triathlon is Imminent

Holy wow, Batman. Only three days until my first triathlon. I feel the need to express myself in Southern colloquialisms.

I can’t believe I am doing a triathlon. It’ll be here in two shakes of a lambs tail. I hope I have trained enough. I’m more nervous than a long tail cat in a room full of rockin chairs. But you know what. I’m tough and I am going to beat this race like a government mule.  I plan to run like a scalded dog. I know that once I finish the race I will be grinnin like a possom eatin briars.

Enough? Ok.

Well here we are folks. I have just three more sleeps until my life changes forever [again] and I go from being a one-at-a-time-thalete to TRIathlete. I AM a bit nervous but I know that the adrenaline will kick in on Sunday morning and I will shake off the nerves and take care of bid-ness.

Here is how I think it will go down.

I will enter the murky, muddy waters in the 3rd wave of the race. That is where the Clydesdales go.  Don’t know what that means? Means the BIG guys. I will not rush my swim because I have learned that that a smooth calm stroke in the water will ultimately give me more speed and better control. I will swim for about 200 yards before I realize that I am already tired and out of breath. But then I will keep on swimming. Then I will panic and stop. Then I will realize that I have stopped and I will start swimming again. Then I will exit the water. I plan to do all of that somewhere between 20 and 25 minutes.

Once out of the water, I will sprint as hard as I can down the lane and into the transition area. I will have already set up my stuff in the most strategic of areas. That is where my 6 months of Boy Scout training will come in handy. You know…always be prepared or whatever. Then I will take a deep breath as I grab my socks, shoes and jersey and throw them on in a chaotic yet orderly fashion. I’m nothing if not paradoxical.  I will grab my helmet and bike and then hit the cycle course.  I will pace myself in the first 3 miles to make sure that I have recovered from the swim. Then I will open it up once I get outside of the park and onto the open road. I know the course well having biked it a few times now.  I think that the bike portion is where I am really going to make the best time.  I am shooting for 35-45 minutes max on the bike leg.

As I enter the park again for the last stretch of the bike portion I will back my gears down considerably and pump my legs a good bit to make sure that I am flushing blood into the running muscles. I think this is what I will be doing. I don’t know I heard that somewhere. Just kidding. I know that I will need to get my legs ready to run.  I will enter back into transition with an advantage over some others. I will already be wearing my running shoes. Oh snap! I will rack my bike, grab a big gulp of water, pray for mercy and strength, and then hit the run course. I already know this part of the race as well from my extensive [sic] (I know sic means something is usually misspelled but does it work for blatant lies as well?) training regimen. My only disadvantage in the run is that my stupid knee has been acting up. Getting old sucks. Taking my knee into account, I still think I can do the run portion in 30-35 minutes.

At worst, by my abacus-like computations, I should be finished within an hour and 45 minutes.  I really want an hour thirty.

I need a bionic knee.

I plan to celebrate my victorious finish with a nap, a raffle, and then a burger and beer on Sunday night.

So enough about me. How are you doing?





8 comments to Week 64 – Triathlon is Imminent

  • DAD

    Can I have your surfboard if you drown?

  • Kudos to you, Hank, for the weight loss and the triathlon! I read about you in Roni’s Fitbloggin’ 2012 information and am not disappointed by your blog one bit. Thank you for sharing your energy here.

    How am I doing today? Well, I didn’t eat a morsel that I didn’t feel good about eating today. And that bodes well for me. So I’m doing well, watching the rain, and hanging with my wife. Life is good!

  • casey

    I red your article while I was in the waiting room in Charleston earlier this week. I too, am trying to lose weight and found your story to be awesome. Good luck today and remember “leave everything in the water, I mean on the bike, on the road” whatever just give it your all. Can wait to hear how you did

  • casey

    Oh and a quick question might i? I was checking out your chart (awesome results by the way) and I’ve seen you picture. I’m guessing you might be like me and have a bigger frame than some. In your article you goal was to become healthier, but has the numbers in the last couple of weeks been at all discouraging? I mean since they aren’t going down

    • hank

      Honestly, yes. It has been a bit disappointing. BUT, I also have learned that the number on the scale at a certain point becomes a lower indicator of ones health. For instance, I haven’t lost any significant weight in several months, but I ran a triathlon this morning…who cares about no scale change if my health and fitness are still improving… 🙂

  • casey

    Awesome! I know once I can envelope the mentality of “healthier” instead of losing weight my discipline level whether it be eating or working out will increase. Well good luck with the future, wish ya all the best man

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>